Pipe Dreams

I took the day off of school today. Only missed one class and 2 chapters behind. All things considered that isn't too bad. Motivation this semester has been really hard to come by. Realizing that I'll be done school in 2 short weeks has made me quite lax and lazy. I'm like that long distance runner that is about to approach the finish line but realizes that there is no medal for placing 10th. There isn't even anyone waiting for me at the finish line with a glass of water in hand. Water would be good right now.

I miss having days to myself. Days where I can enjoy my own freedom from the daily grind of school or work. Days when I can wake up without the alarm clock rudely interrupting a lucid dream. A dream about one day possibly owning a large fleet of wing trucks selling wings and pretzels to the good citizens of suburbia. Alarm clocks must hate what they symbolize. The modern day bubble-burster.

On these days I imagine I'd wake up around 10am and make myself a nice breakfast with eggs, sausage, bacon, and a waffle with all the great fruit toppings. Food is one of those finer things in life I've never really had the time to appreciate. I've always been in a hurry to eat. My life is one big take-out or drive-through. It'd be nice to eat breakfast with little regard to time and appointments. Possibly sharing breakfast with someone for a change but then that would be wishful thinking at the pace I'm going. I’m not fond of pre-hatched chickens. Nor do I enjoy counting them.

The rest of the morning and part of the afternoon might be spent at some trendy coffee shop with a patio where I could read my book while sipping on some sort of refreshing alcoholic beverage. Alizé and orange juice come to mind even though I rarely drink it. Malibu and pineapple juice is really good too though some may consider it a "girly drink". I suppose if I was comfortable in my own skin and wasn't so insecure about my own masculinity that wouldn't matter. Let's pretend I am. I'd sip and read, and sip and read. The only thing that would make this more ideal involves a tropical beach and hula girls shaking their hips. But then again I doubt I'd still be reading.

Maybe a nice girl would come by the patio and comment on the book I was reading. We'd start a discussion about the hidden meaning behind why the protagonist in the book wanted to own a pet monkey. I'd proclaim, “The monkey represented his ID and fulfilling his most primitive desire!” Everyone desires a pet monkey, they are either too afraid to admit it or they just don't realize it. The girl would heartily disagree and tell me that the protagonist was just eccentric and was a lonely child who needed companionship that wasn't offered from his siblings Jermaine, LaToya, and Janet. After exhausting all my pretentiousness in the conversation we'd leave the coffee shop hoping we'd bump into one another again for another rivoting discussion about monkeys somewhere in the future.

In the afternoon a walk down Queen Street with my girlfriend to do some cd shopping or clothes shopping would be nice. Yes, I think we'd like that a lot. I don't shop often. A combination of not caring how I look and not having the money to care how I look. It would be sunny and 25 degrees outside with a slight breeze during the day. She'd buy something trendy but unique at some of the boutiques along the way. I'd suggest the more revealing stuff half jokingly and she'd give me an endearing, "I'm not that type of girl" response. I'm glad she's not that type of girl. It's nice to have principles. Even if the principles keep your significant other from being the pervert that he really is. I respect that in a woman.

Along the way we might stop and have a few Toronto hotdogs from some of the sidewalk vendors. Street meat as we call it here in Toronto, is quite scrumptious if you put thoughts of what they’re made of aside. Inevitably I'd spill some mustard on my white t-shirt and end up being self-conscious for the rest of the afternoon. For the sake of keeping it a pleasant afternoon we'll say I wore a yellow shirt and the mustard was hardly noticeable (though the colour of my shirt would be). I would also make it a note not to tell anyone about my accident in fear they might call me "mustard face". Name calling never sat well with me but I suppose I'm somewhat used to it with my group of sardonic friends.

A rousing afternoon of answering "Do these pants make my ass look fat?” would definitely work up my appetite. We’d have to retire to a relaxing evening inside with a home cooked dinner. My girlfriend is a food connoisseur and though I'd be tempted to try some of her gourmet foie gras, I think wings would suit a day like this much better. (Wings have always held a special place in my heart. If you could figuratively open up my heart you’d see my girlfriend in the center, sports just below that, music off to the side somewhere, and wings right next to the clogged artery.) I’m probably the least romantic person on the face of the Earth so I don’t think a candle light dinner and romantic music make for a special night at all. I’d be more inclined to having a normal dinner with good food, maybe the basketball game or buffy the vampire slayer on tv, and a nice conversation. A conversation while the game is on the tube you ask? I know it sounds absurd but let’s just let it go for the sake of delusion.

After dinner and several bottles of wine I’m sure she’d be begging for me to take her…and HARD (as if there was any other way). Likewise with all that wing sauce on her face it would be HARD for me to resist my animal sex urges. Ok, maybe we might not have animal sex per se but I’d be happy with something between passionate human sex and animal in heat sex.

Do you ever feel guilty about liking sex so much? Or about being a little easy? Sex is too often made a moral issue in today’s society and it's not always necessary. It’s not just about hedonistic pleasures but also about self-discovery. Everyone has a right to understand and explore his or her own sexuality. Sexual compatibility is one of many things that determine how successful a marriage/relationship will be. Love after all, is not one-dimensional. It is both physical and emotional. It'd be nice if we could strip the pretenses that come with the word “sex”. Til then, have fun and play safe.

I know this day might not have sounded exciting to everyone but it sure would have been a great day for me. Everyone deserves to have days like this. Life is too often wasted away with work and responsibilities. Take a day off and enjoy yourself!! Tell your boss Shaky told you to. If you end up getting fired, don’t fret. You’ll just have more days like this to enjoy!

I was a short fuse
Burning all the time
You were a complete stranger
Now you are mine

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain about my wounded heart